I can make many arguments intended to cause myself to never regret anything that has happened in my life that turned out to hurt me or others. I can say that for every sad and painful thing I have experienced, somewhere a blessing or a lesson has come. Knowing that I control only the way I perceive and understand life's lessons does cause me to feel so limited. I feel suffocated by the memory of the last moment I saw the two of you. I feel consumed with such regret. It overtakes me at times and I suddenly feel so lost, as if I have been plucked from this earth and placed in an alternate time and place where I exist alone with only the cry of my heart to convey that I am alive somehow after this tragedy. If I could rewind I would have held you forever. I would've brought down the whole world and no one could've pried you from my arms. No one. I replay the last glimpse of your faces. I could still feel your warmth, even now if I close my eyes tight enough, if I hold my breath and pause, I can see you and almost feel my lips touch your small faces. If I listen close enough I can hear your father weep for you and see the devastating tears streaming down his face. I could hear him declare his love for you. I could hear his heart shatter...and I can feel my own heart die.
I regret.
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