It is 1:03 am on a Thursday and I can't fall asleep. Ogres are threatening to invade this new world I have been living in for the last few years. I can't hear or see them but I can smell them. The stench is unbearable and it makes my stomach feel uneasy like when something bad has happened and life has been changed forever. You know the feeling, it makes you feel like you need to puke but nothing comes out, so you sit there just hoping sleep will take it all away.
I can't sleep. I am feeling a very uncomfortable and familiar anxiety about someone coming into my room at night to poke me with his fingers while I pretend to be asleep because I am so paralyzed with fear I can barely breath. I hear keys and steps and there is a crack of light and the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer and closer. There is a voice that calls me by a nickname my sweet grandma gave me and I cannot remain in my skin when he says it because my grandma loves me with a pure heart and she gave me that name and how dare he use it?! If I lay still and close my eyes maybe he will believe I am asleep and I will believe it too and he can do what he came to do and get it over with so I can come back into my body and go to sleep finally because I am so tired.
I can't sleep because I am not that girl anymore but I can still feel her living inside of my heart and I have hidden her away in a dark room trying to pretend she is fine but I know better.
I hate these damn sleeping ogres who camp out next to my new world, stinking it up with their fowl bodies.
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