This morning I stared at Bella as she slept. I always think of the two of you when I do that. The resemblance is remarkable and I find comfort in seeing her face at this age because to me I also see the both of you. I know she is not you and you are not her, but I will take comfort where I can get it.
Today we are home relaxing on a rainy day. You both have been lingering in my thoughts so much its almost as if you are here somewhere in this house. I imagine you playing and running around. I imagine you painting the wooden race cars daddy bought last night. I can hear you laugh as you race the cars with Krisy and Bella around the living room.
This morning my imagination is running wild. I am finding comfort in imagining you here with us. I wish it could be real. We are never whole. I wonder what daddy thinks about when he thinks of you. Does he imagine you growing with time passing? Or does he just replay the things that happened already over and over again? I can imagine the pain in his soul. I can see it in his eyes. I can see that when he looks at Bella his eyes are filled with so much love for her, and I can always see the sadness as he stares at her while thinking of the both of you.
Heavyhearted Monday mornings. If you can see me, or hear me, or feel me please, please know I love you so much. I never stop thinking of the both of you, ever. You are a part of me forever.
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