Feeling

Feeling so small
So small that crevices in shoes miss me on the sidewalk
Small enough to not even be the thought of a thought
Small enough that no one can see the patterns on my skin
Small enough to not matter in the big picture because I am not in it
Small so so small that my words cannot be heard,
even when I am screaming at the top of my lungs


Feeling so lonely
So lonely that I can't remember the last time someone made me feel like I wasn't alone
So lonely that I talk to myself and have taken on two forms
So lonely the silence scares me, but only because I like it so much now
So lonely that the possibility of company makes me want to crawl up under a rock and hide

Feeling so hurt
So hurt that I can't talk to anyone because everyone is the same
So hurt because I'm so lonely and small
So hurt because no one hears me
So hurt because no one wants to really hear my voice

Feeling so stuck
Stuck in life because all I can see is my one sided, single visioned plan
Stuck because I want to do it all, and be it all but I don't even know where the heck to begin to begin again
Stuck in this foolish repetition expecting something different